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- Sales Rank: #3918440 in Books
- Published on: 2010
- Number of items: 2
- Binding: Paperback
Most helpful customer reviews
450 of 467 people found the following review helpful.
My Book About Me
By Charents
A quick Amazon search reveals 3,523 pregnancy books on the market. How many of these are written for the mother? About 3,510. A dozen others use sarcasm and exaggerated humor -- often at the expense of the pregnant mother -- rather than useful information to draw the heathen male into the future world of parenting. There has got to be a better way for a father-to-be to learn what he has gotten himself into.
Fortunately there is. The Expectant Father is that 3,523rd book. It is a well-written, month-by-month explanation of what is going on both emotionally and physically with the mother, the baby, and you the father. At 250 pages plus references, it is packed with information while still being portable. It doesn't necessarily go into a great amount of detail on each subject, but it mentions most important things at least in passing, and you can always refer to the Internet or What to Expect... (which your partner will undoubtedly have on her nightstand) for more details.
Be forewarned: this book is slightly new-agey at points. But hey, Brott is just offering suggestions that the reader is free to ignore. Overall this is a useful reference written with the father-to-be in mind as a principal reader, not an afterthought.
203 of 209 people found the following review helpful.
Helpful information with some strange perspectives...
By Chad Oberholtzer
As a first-time father approaching the due date, I have read several books for new dads to get myself at least somewhat prepared for this major life transition. I have generally been disappointed by other books because they were too low on content (The Pocket Idiot's Guide to Being an Expectant Father) and/or very high on stupid, often crass, jokes (The Guy's Guide to Surviving Pregnancy, Childbirth and the First Year of Fatherhood; The New Dad's Survival Guide). The driving assumption for these books seems to have been that men are stupid and require juvenile humor to remain engaged. Thankfully, Armin Brott's "The Expectant Father" is an exception to that rule.
The greatest asset of the book is its comprehensive nature. Brott covers it all, month by month. He discusses countless physiological, psychological, emotional, and logistical issues that are likely to confront most new parents, specifically speaking from the perspective of the father. There were a few times when my wife would read a paragraph or two over my shoulder, and she was surprised to actually read some information that she had not read in any of the eight pregnancy books that she had already finished. I appreciated the fact that Brott seems to assume that there are thoughtful, intelligent men out there who want to learn as much as possible to help their wives as much as possible through pregnancy and to transition well into fatherhood, and he offers substantial information accordingly.
My primary critiques of this book actually resonate with many who gave it a one-star rating. Though I think such a low rating does not sufficiently reflect the very helpful information that is included, I agree with others that this book seemed to have a bizarre overemphasis on the role of fathers in pregnancy and parenting. Frankly speaking, no matter how much some men may wish otherwise, we are not equal partners with our wives in the pregnancy process. In fact, it's not even close. There is no person growing inside of me! I am convinced that my needs and my issues are clearly of secondary importance to the needs and issues of my wife during this time, and maintaining that prioritization seems to be rather important. But Brott's book is so father-centered as to at least occasionally lose sight of that reality.
I also found the final chapter, "Fathering Today," to be a rather whining, pathetic diatribe against anything that might suggest that mothers can play a more prominent role than fathers in raising children. I'm certainly a huge proponent of fathers being highly involved in raising their kids. That's why I'm reading lots of books about this stuff. But I am perfectly comfortable with the notion that there are things that my wife knows and can do for our baby that I simply can't offer. Some of those differences may be experiential and culturally-based, but I am convinced that some of them are innate. Brott seems to bristle at that idea, sprinkling his father-focused position throughout the book and ending with an entire chapter as a final attempt to debunk any idea that mothers are inherently better equipped to do some things for their kids. I just think he's trying to buck human nature with mere wishful thinking.
My frustrations aside, I'm still quite glad to have read this book. I feel significantly better equipped to enter the crazy world of fatherhood after having read "The Expectant Father." I may even be able to help my wife in some small way during the rapidly approaching birth of our first kid because of the information that I learned. It is long and periodically rather dry, but it's definitely worth the effort. A few strange assumptions by the author notwithstanding, I'm happy to recommend it to any man willing to invest some time towards learning about this most important event and all that is to follow.
118 of 129 people found the following review helpful.
This is the ONLY book to buy for expectant dads
By A Customer
My wife just had our first child a few months ago. While she was pregnant two of our friends gave me copies of The Expectant Father, which they recommended highly. I have to agree. I'd been reading my wife's pregnancy books, which were absolutely useless--they barely mentioned dads at all except to say that I should be sensitive to my wife's needs, which I already knew. And I'd checked out a few of the other pregnancy books for dads but they were so condescending and insulting that I practically gave up reading altogether.
This book is completely different. It deals with men's concers in a straightforward, sensitive, funny way. It's filled with very insightful information that helped me make sense of the feelings I was having during my wife's pregnancy and activities that I could do to stay involved. It's not always easy to take the stand to be an involved dad and this book helped me realize that I wasn't alone in what I was going through. I know that this book has helped me be a better father than I ever would have before. I'll be giving it to all my buddies whose wives are expectant. AND, I've already started the next book in the series, The New Father: A Dad's Guide to the First Year. It's great too!
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